[ She hadn't registered that as an option. There's a beat of silence, taut as a bowstring, before the video snaps on. It doesn't matter, suddenly, how clear it is that she's been crying; the gleam in her eyes is freshly, fiercely determined. ]
[ She doesn't try to soften the impact of hearing that, the searing brand of empathy. So she may as well say it out loud: ]
If it was Nathan, I'd be acting just as stupid.
But if your mind is shredded doing this, if your soul is scattered to the nine winds, if you look at him and have no idea who he is anymore - or worse, if you've been twisted into the sort of creature that would harm your own child, like I have been -
He will blame himself, and he will carry that forever. If he survives it.
I loved him for my own about five minutes after I met him the first time. If I forget him, if he's forgotten me, I'll love him anyway.
I wish I could bring you with me more than anyone. I know I'm going to be outclassed by what's out there, that my very best hope in in the world is to sneak past unnoticed. But I know how to do that. I've been impossibly outclassed before. John's going to give me whatever he can to help.
I'm not going in with no plan, Maddie. I am just planning quickly.
You're fucking impossible. You're worse than Jean and Alex and Nate combined.
[ She means it, too, except she loves all three of those fucking disaster people so it's not as vicious as all that. When she scrubs her eyes and growls under her breath, it's as much about acceptance as it is exasperation. ]
Come to me, after you see him. There are things I can do.
[ For doing exactly what he asked her to do, yes. She's annoyed with you, sir.
That said, when she reaches up to slice through his skin with her nail, it's steady and even and only as deep as it needs to be. ]
This magic's based more on intent than chemicals. [ When she paints with his blood, it's with an almost reverent care. The symbols meet in the middle of the circle, where she delicately smears some of them into each other. Then, after a last sweeping glance, she stands up and then hovers herself, reaching out her hand. ]
Everyone I have ever loved is a reckless moron and I'm getting real tired of it.
[His blood oozes, thick and slow, smelling of strange brine, caustic metal, bitter ink, oleic acid.]
The last time he was gone, I trusted the Admiral to bring him back. And he did. But I didn't account for what he went through in the meantime.
I've weighed the risks as well as I can. I'm taking any resources or precautions people can get me tonight. I swear I'm not doing this - lightly, or because I don't value the life I have.
[ She inclines her head with a low, aching huff of breath. ]
Yeah, I know. [ When she grasps his forearm, smearing their blood together again, there's a charge in the air.
She was given a mutant body by the Five, but it was imprinted with an echo of Phoenix fire; her blood sings with it, in ways she can't quite grasp and use unless - ]
I felt Jean die from Limbo, and I couldn't do anything about it. Alex died fighting by my side, and I caught his soul and stuffed it back into his body.
[ She lets herself sink into both of those moments, the wrenching echo of Jean's psychic death scream and the incandescent rage that scorched her lover's killers from the inside. The runes alight with flame beneath them, and it flares in her eyes as she continues on. ]
This should help you hold onto yours, if anything tries to consume it or twist it or tear it apart.
[He's not afraid of Edwin dying. He won't say that being twisted to Larson's will again, or someone crueler and more powerful, is worse, but he's sure he won't allow it if he has any chance to stop it.
Jedao's shadow leaps and flashes, as though in flickering firelight, the Ninefox emerging for a few moments, yellow crown of eyes one moment, a mouthful of flames the next. The Immolation Fox is a vicious little brother, revolutionary instead of primordial, but it screams a fox's scream in Jedao's blood; where they touch and mingle, Maddie can feel a hot pointy little nose pressed briefly into her palm. It has always been a barbed wire fortification in Jedao's mind, before this Jedao even existed, and the strength she gives it is in a form it instinctively understands, growing as fire grows with any fuel, bright and hotter and stronger. Jedao feels it, the burning heart-embers, the immovable internal beacon of it. He bows his head.]
[ For a moment, their blood singing and molten together, she feels utterly aligned with someone in a way she never has in waking hours before; only in dreams, in visions, in memories that are not hers. They are the ash made in the wake of cleaning fire; they are the new spark of life and passion and change; they are a force to be reckoned with.
Jedao doesn't need it, but she reaches for a little more of that magic to heal the cut anyway, because she made it. ]
Don't mention it. Unless you're talking to Edwin.
[ She squeezes his arm for a second, breath hitching just slightly. ]
And tell him, if he can't get back here to earn his deal - I've got it.
[ She can't graduate in time to keep him safe. She'll damn well graduate to give him closure. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Voice
Yeah.
Re: Voice
Re: Voice > Video
[ She hadn't registered that as an option. There's a beat of silence, taut as a bowstring, before the video snaps on. It doesn't matter, suddenly, how clear it is that she's been crying; the gleam in her eyes is freshly, fiercely determined. ]
Wait for me.
Re: Voice > Video
Re: Voice > Video
[ This time, when her gaze ignites, it isn't with helpless rage she can do nothing with. ]
And you need to be prepared for whatever bullshit we could face there.
I already lost my sister, Jedao.
Re: Voice > Video
But he's my son, and I promised I'd come for him. Last time he was gone, time didn't hold still for him.
dw almost ate this entire speech
If it was Nathan, I'd be acting just as stupid.
But if your mind is shredded doing this, if your soul is scattered to the nine winds, if you look at him and have no idea who he is anymore - or worse, if you've been twisted into the sort of creature that would harm your own child, like I have been -
He will blame himself, and he will carry that forever. If he survives it.
Re: dw almost ate this entire speech
I loved him for my own about five minutes after I met him the first time. If I forget him, if he's forgotten me, I'll love him anyway.
I wish I could bring you with me more than anyone. I know I'm going to be outclassed by what's out there, that my very best hope in in the world is to sneak past unnoticed. But I know how to do that. I've been impossibly outclassed before. John's going to give me whatever he can to help.
I'm not going in with no plan, Maddie. I am just planning quickly.
That's as smart as I can be about this.
Re: dw almost ate this entire speech
[ She means it, too, except she loves all three of those fucking disaster people so it's not as vicious as all that. When she scrubs her eyes and growls under her breath, it's as much about acceptance as it is exasperation. ]
Come to me, after you see him. There are things I can do.
Re: dw almost ate this entire speech
[Dry as dust.]
Thank you. I will.
Re: dw almost ate this entire speech
Take as much time with him as you'll let yourself because you fucking need it. I'll be here.
[ The door is, in fact, unlocked! Because she is busy painting sigils in blood on the floor. ]
Re: dw almost ate this entire speech
[It's a little over an hour later when he knocks.]
cw: blood magic! hashtag friendship
[ If he smudges her hard work, so help her. ]
I'm gonna need your blood. [ She lifts a hand just to show off the gash in her palm. ]
Re: cw: blood magic! hashtag friendship
It's not iron based.
[Nevertheless, he holds out his arm.]
Re: cw: blood magic! hashtag friendship
[ For doing exactly what he asked her to do, yes. She's annoyed with you, sir.
That said, when she reaches up to slice through his skin with her nail, it's steady and even and only as deep as it needs to be. ]
This magic's based more on intent than chemicals. [ When she paints with his blood, it's with an almost reverent care. The symbols meet in the middle of the circle, where she delicately smears some of them into each other. Then, after a last sweeping glance, she stands up and then hovers herself, reaching out her hand. ]
Everyone I have ever loved is a reckless moron and I'm getting real tired of it.
Re: cw: blood magic! hashtag friendship
The last time he was gone, I trusted the Admiral to bring him back. And he did. But I didn't account for what he went through in the meantime.
I've weighed the risks as well as I can. I'm taking any resources or precautions people can get me tonight. I swear I'm not doing this - lightly, or because I don't value the life I have.
Re: cw: blood magic! hashtag friendship
Yeah, I know. [ When she grasps his forearm, smearing their blood together again, there's a charge in the air.
She was given a mutant body by the Five, but it was imprinted with an echo of Phoenix fire; her blood sings with it, in ways she can't quite grasp and use unless - ]
I felt Jean die from Limbo, and I couldn't do anything about it. Alex died fighting by my side, and I caught his soul and stuffed it back into his body.
[ She lets herself sink into both of those moments, the wrenching echo of Jean's psychic death scream and the incandescent rage that scorched her lover's killers from the inside. The runes alight with flame beneath them, and it flares in her eyes as she continues on. ]
This should help you hold onto yours, if anything tries to consume it or twist it or tear it apart.
Re: cw: blood magic! hashtag friendship
Jedao's shadow leaps and flashes, as though in flickering firelight, the Ninefox emerging for a few moments, yellow crown of eyes one moment, a mouthful of flames the next. The Immolation Fox is a vicious little brother, revolutionary instead of primordial, but it screams a fox's scream in Jedao's blood; where they touch and mingle, Maddie can feel a hot pointy little nose pressed briefly into her palm. It has always been a barbed wire fortification in Jedao's mind, before this Jedao even existed, and the strength she gives it is in a form it instinctively understands, growing as fire grows with any fuel, bright and hotter and stronger. Jedao feels it, the burning heart-embers, the immovable internal beacon of it. He bows his head.]
Thank you, Maddie.
Re: cw: blood magic! hashtag friendship
Jedao doesn't need it, but she reaches for a little more of that magic to heal the cut anyway, because she made it. ]
Don't mention it. Unless you're talking to Edwin.
[ She squeezes his arm for a second, breath hitching just slightly. ]
And tell him, if he can't get back here to earn his deal - I've got it.
[ She can't graduate in time to keep him safe. She'll damn well graduate to give him closure. ]
Re: cw: blood magic! hashtag friendship
Understood.
I'll tell him.